The Dawn Patrol

Zoo's company

2008-03-18T13:57:00.011-04:00

My friend Drusilla writes in an e-mail (published with permission):

Caros todos -

I just finished reviewing a series of German emails. They're spam - mostly advertisements for Viagra and similar drugs. Perhaps it's because I'm on so much pain medicine but it suddenly struck me that something was very bizarre about them. They all went on in rather graphic detail about how they would enhance a man's experience. Most of them promised a man that he would be able to have sex like an animal be all sorts of other things. And, at the same time, there was a great deal of assurance that all would be sent in discreet packaging.

The message seems to be become like an animal, behave like an animal but don't let anyone know. Deny your humanity but hide your denial behind a human form.

It's scary, pure madness, totally unfathomable. If being like an animal is so great, why hide it? If it is shameful and must be hidden, why do it?

Drusilla

Today's pick to click

2008-03-18T10:49:00.005-04:00

RightWingNews features part two of its Blogging While Female interview series and it's excellent. Today's guests: Ann Althouse, LaShawn Barber, Emily Zanotti, and Mary Katherine Ham.

True sexual freedom

2008-03-18T00:29:00.003-04:00

More from my January 29 talk at Holy Name of Jesus Catholic Church in Beech Grove, Indiana—Part Two:

Part Three:

The line of the Litany of the Holy Name that I am trying to remember in Part Three is "Jesus, Purity of Virgins."

For more on The Thrill of the Chaste, visit thrillofthechaste.com.

Many thanks to those readers who answered my prayer request yesterday.

Prayer request

2008-03-16T23:28:00.005-04:00

Tomorrow is a difficult anniversary for me and I would like to request your prayers. Thanks and God bless.

Also, I've received a date for my second thyroid surgery—it'll be May 27, the day after Memorial Day.

As I mentioned earlier, the tumor that was removed in my first surgery was fully encapsulated, so there is no immediate danger to my health. The second surgery is on the advice of doctors who believe that, since the type of cancer found was multifocal, there is a significant risk it might reoccur. As I am under 40, I will be able to handle the surgery better than if I waited and then needed to have it done later in life. Thankfully, my surgeon did an excellent job the first time around, so I'm not so worried about the second one, though I will of course be glad when it (and the ensuing radioactive iodine treatment) is over.

Hoosier mama

2008-03-16T11:56:00.003-04:00

In which I tell the parishioners of Holy Name of Jesus Catholic Church where the resentment I felt upon initially attempting chastity was really coming from—and how it can be overcome. Many thanks to Jonathan Chamblee, coordinator of religious education at the Beech Grove, Ind., church, for making the professional-quality video.

I have a bit of article trouble—I say "that life" when I mean "this life"—but otherwise, I think I kept it together pretty well, considering what was on my mind. The January 24 presentation was my last before going under the knife five days later for a partial thyroidectomy— and, knowing the risks of such an operation, I was afraid the talk might in fact be my last. Holy Name's pastor, Rev. Stanley Pondo, assured me of prayers, which, combined with those of my other friends, family, and blog readers, helped me more than I can say as I went in for the procedure.

Audio of my entire talk is available on Holy Name's Web site—click on my name in the upper right-hand corner of the page.

Stay tuned for more videos tomorrow!

Priests, religious get the�Thrill�for free

2008-03-15T22:16:00.003-04:00

It occurred to me tonight that I can afford to send one copy of The Thrill of the Chaste or La aventura de la castidad to every priest or member of a religious order who requests it—so, why not?

If you qualify, please e-mail me (you can use my online contact form) and include your mailing address. If you qualify but have already purchased a copy for yourself, I will be happy to send you a copy to give away. This offer stands until or unless I withdraw it.

Royal college warns abortions can lead to mental illness

2008-03-15T21:54:00.002-04:00

A major fissure has emerged in medical authorities' longtime wall of silence in the face of numerous studies showing that having an abortion increases a woman's risk of depression and other mental problems. The Times of London has the story.

Noble priest prize

2008-03-15T18:40:00.008-04:00

Today, I received an unsolicited review copy of Signs of the Times: Understanding the Church Since Vatican II, by the late Father Richard W. Gilsdorf (Star of the Bay Press). As my reading pile is already sky-high*, it seems the most charitable thing to do would be to give it to someone who might appreciate it.

So, with the happy knowledge that some priests frequent this blog, I'd like to make the free offer of the book to the first priest who requests it. Just leave a comment here so others know it's taken, and then e-mail me (you can use my online contact form) with your address. If you request, I'll throw in a copy of The Thrill of the Chaste or La aventura de la castidad, whichever you prefer.

UPDATE: Book still available as of 11:06 p.m. Saturday—none of the comments currently below are from takers.

*Currently reading St. Faustina and still more Fulton J. Sheen, then on to Discovering Aquinas; Morality: The Catholic View; The Secret Diary of Elizabeth Leseur ...

The audacity of hype

2008-03-15T17:00:00.004-04:00

As I was opening my mail in the post office today after checking my P.O. box, a woman in her 40s sitting nearby called out, "Excuse me ..."

She was holding up a copy of Barack Obama's latest bestseller, The Audacity of Hope, the title of which comes from a speech by his minister, Jeremiah Wright (the Farrakhan fan who just departed Obama's campaign).

It took me a moment to understand what she was asking, although she spoke clearly enough.

Her father was recovering from an operation, she said, and she wanted to send her parents a book they could share, as they enjoyed reading together. Should she send them the book she had purchased, or Obama's "other book"?

What threw me off at first was that, for some reason, she took it for granted that I knew about Obama's books and could give her an authoritative opinion on which one would make better parental reading.

Not having read either work, but remembering that Obama had, in addition to The Audacity of Hope, written a book about his past—it has been cited in reports of his past drug use and his Muslim heritage—I suggested her parents might prefer his other book (which I now see is Dreams from My Father).

"The one you bought is his campaign book," I said, "so he's trying to sell his plan for the country. His other book, I think, tells the story of his past, so it would make more interesting reading if your parents are reading it together."

She seemed quite happy with the response and said she would go back to the bookstore to make an exchange.

I added with a smile, "You might also want to buy your dad a warm pair of slippers, since he's going to be around the house for a while."

She smiled too and I walked off, my head spinning at the thought that I had recommended any book by Obama ...

Society's child

2008-03-14T20:42:00.007-04:00

When I spoke in Spring Hill, Fla., two weeks ago, I finally had the pleasure of meeting John Brown S.J., whose CompanionofJesus.com is a great repository of knowledge on the spirituality of the Society of Jesus, including the fascinating 1673 work depicting the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius in pictures. (There was another camera pointed at us as well, hence my sideward gaze.)

John first contacted me before I made the decision to become Catholic; he wrote to express support for my blog. I wrote back to him with a question or two, and I now count him as one of those who led me to full communion with the Church.

At my talk at Spring Hill's St. Frances Xavier Cabrini Parish, John, a scholastic (the Jesuit term for seminarian), met a staff member of a local Catholic radio station who was impressed with his New Orleans drawl. The story I heard was that she was eager to have him on the show because a large part of the station's listenership were curious Evangelicals, and, with his twang, she said, "he sounds like a Protestant!"

Would write about Michigan, but must ... get ... sleep. The past two weeks were long, touring and working Le Day Job without a break.

Fab forte

2008-03-14T14:31:00.003-04:00

In answer to Charles G. Hill's question, my favorite Beatles song is "There's a Place." It belongs to that time when Lennon and McCartney were a true songwriting team, attempting together to rewrite Goffin and King ("Up on the Roof"), and coming out with a borderline Baroque melodic style that sounded like no one else on Earth. "Yes It Is" is of a piece with it.

Dad's army

2008-03-14T12:18:00.005-04:00

When I first saw Jerry LaPointe, the volunteer who manned the book table yesterday afternoon when I gave a talk sponsored by Oakland University Students for Life ...

... I'm sorry to say that, reading the message on the front of his T-shirt—"... Who's your daddy ..."—my first thought was that he hadn't gotten the memo on chastity.

Then I saw the back ...

... and was delighted to discover I was mistaken.

Had a wonderful time giving two talks in the Detroit area—more later.

Everything's east or west of Eden

2008-03-13T06:39:00.002-04:00

Just a post before I go: My friend Kevin Walsh reveals that my neighborhood is the center of the world. I can't believe I haven't noticed that plaque in the two and a half months I've lived here.

2008-03-12T22:46:00.002-04:00

Off to the Detroit area (see "Tour of the Chaste" below)—back home Friday. Thanks to those who offered prayer in response to the news I mentioned within the "Carolinas on my mind" post below.

Quote of the day

2008-03-12T21:24:00.001-04:00

"As we have taken the circle as the symbol of reason and madness, we may very well take the cross as the symbol at once of mystery and of health. Buddhism is centripetal, but Christianity is centrifugal: it breaks out. For the circle is perfect and infinite in its nature; but it is fixed for ever in its size; it can never be larger or smaller. But the cross, though it has at its heart a collision and a contradiction, can extend its four arms for ever without altering its shape. Because it has a paradox in its centre it can grow without changing. The circle returns upon itself and is bound. The cross opens its arms to the four winds; it is a signpost for free travellers."

— G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

Free GKC on MP3

2008-03-12T20:51:00.004-04:00

Commuters, rejoice! You can now download a free audio version of G.K. Chesterton's classic Orthodoxy.

Thanks to D'Artagnan for the tip.

Cross purposes

2008-03-12T00:22:00.003-04:00

"Somewhere along the line, I started drinking, and sometime after that, I moved to New York. At the time, I couldn't think of a reason why, but, looking back, I see that it was so that I could, in my own small way, set out on my via dolorosa."

— Fallen Sparrow, from Part One of his new and compelling autobiographical series. Part Two is also online.

Tour of the Chaste coming to Detroit area (tomorrow!), Notre Dame, and beyond

2008-03-12T00:00:00.001-04:00

If you're in or around Detroit, hope you can come to one of my first-ever talks in the area tomorrow—both are free and open to the public.

March 13

Oakland University, at the Fireside Lounge in the Oakland Center, Rochester, Michigan, 12-2 p.m. Talk and Q&A will be followed by small-group discussion. Free and open to nonstudents. Sponsored by Students for Life.

(Later that same day:) Our Lady of Refuge, 3750 Commerce Road, Orchard Lake, Michigan, 7 p.m. Free and open to the public. The event is targeted at young adults.

March 28

Edith Stein Project 2008 Conference, University of Notre Dame, Notre Dame, Ind., 1 p.m. Register online.

March 29

Pre-Cana Day, Cathedral of St. Patrick, Norwich, Conn.

April 8

Legatus dinner, Wilmington, Del. (private event).

April 19

Connecticut Christian Singles Network seminar, details TBA, 10 a.m.

May 15

Seattle Chesterton Society, details TBA.

Pending (confirmed, but details not yet available): London, Ontario, high school tour (April), Alaska tour (May), more Seattle dates (May).

Buy The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On at Amazon.com.

Quote of the day

2008-03-11T12:15:00.004-04:00

"There are, as I say, many reasons to dislike Eliot Spitzer. I, too, hope he goes away, and quickly. The music critic Tim Page, referring to an unpleasant and pretentious college president, observed that he was the sort of chap that gave �pseudo-intellectuality a bad name.� I feel similarly about Eliot Spitzer and hypocrisy. His behavior gives that ambiguous vice a bad name. What�s wrong with Eliot Spitzer is not so much that he praised good things and did bad ones. Most of the items he championed in his various moral campaigns were, when you looked behind the rhetoric, of dubious value. Really, he was a power-hungry, regulation-crazed functionary whose chief sin was to harness the power of the state to destroy his enemies and aggrandize himself. Had he been a little more hypocritical he might have been less dangerous."

—Roger Kimball, "Why you shouldn't let Eliot Spitzer get away with being called a hypocrite"

Missing links

2008-03-11T00:41:00.002-04:00

My apologies if you've tried to link to an individual entry on this blog during the past week and have found that the link leads to a blank page. I have been having publishing problems for the past week and have written Blogger to no avail. Any advice from fellow Blogger users would be appreciated. (I am not ready to switch blog hosts right now, for lack of time to do the necessary setup.)

Carolinas on my mind

2008-03-10T23:56:00.004-04:00

Arriving in Charleston, South Carolina, Thursday afternoon, I was met by Annette, a buoyant grandmother easily recognizable by her bright blue scarf bearing the image of the patroness of the Catholic diocese: Our Lady of South Carolina, Our Lady of Joyful Hope.

On the way to the first stop of my Carolinas mini-tour, Pauline Books and Media on downtown King Street, Annette, a volunteer for the diocesan Respect Life office, told me that Planned Parenthood is planning an abortion megamill in Charleston along the lines of its mammoth center in Aurora and the one it is currently building in Denver. They are holding Tupperware-style neighborhood parties to raise funds for the mill, she said.

At the shop, receiving a warm welcome from its proprietors, Daughters of St. Paul, I had a relaxed and very happy time signing books for patrons drifting in and out over the next two hours—including Dawn Patrol readers John, aka JCB3, and MileHiMama—and meeting a couple of Steubenville students who had dropped in for the weekly "SpiritualiTEA." (The tea, held in a beautiful prayer garden tucked away behind the shop, usually draws about thirty to forty students, I was told, but the locals were on spring break.)

I also briefly met Father Stanley Smolenski of the Our Lady of Joyful Hope shrine, who happened to be in the shop when I arrived, but unfortunately I didn�t learn about his remarkable life and ministry until after he left. Had I known more about the meaning of the shrine he initiated (about which you can learn from its Web site, including a slide show) and his own work (which includes, I was later told, being the diocesan exorcist), I would have made an effort to engage him in conversation.

Afterwards, the co-sponsor of my Charleston appearances, diocesan Respect Life director Kathy Schmugge, took me to dinner with her and several others, including the other sponsor, Ben Daniel of the Society of Our Lady of Joyful Hope, and the head of the local Legion of Mary Curia, to dinner at local tourist haven Hyman's Seafood, where I was delighted to find fried okra on the menu.

The Southern hospitality continued at my talk at the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist, where the crowd was wonderfully attentive and bought up all the available copies of my book. Whenever I speak, I feel it was worth it if one member of the audience seems to be particularly touched by my talk. This time, I was abundantly rewarded with two such reactions, one from a man and the other from a woman, in addition to the many others who thanked me and chatted warmly with me at the book table for about 45 minutes after the lecture and Q&A. All in all, it was a beautiful experience; I could not have been made to feel more welcome or more appreciated.

One of the attendees, Ryckie, offered me possibly the greatest unexpected perk I have received since I began giving talks—a guided tour of Charleston. I gladly accepted and rode around the city with her and a friend of hers the next morning, after spending the night at the home of parishioners from the Church of the Holy Communion, the Anglican church which would be hosting my next set of talks over the weekend. It was the real deal—Ryckie had been a licensed city tour guide before retiring a few years back. As a first-time visitor, I loved getting to see some of city's historic buildings (not to mention getting a taste of melt-in-your mouth fresh pralines at a sweetshop.)

Ryckie dropped me off at Holy Communion, an elegant church completed during Reconstruction, before the noontime Stations of the Cross. I had not experienced much Anglican liturgy and was looking forward to learning more about it on this trip, especially since Holy Communion's pastor, Father Dow Sanderson, had briefed me about the congregation's high level of orthodoxy. Although Holy Communion is part of the local Episcopal diocese, it has a level of fidelity to traditional Anglo-Catholic teachings on a level with (and, in at least one case, surpassing) the breakaway parishes in the Washington area where I live. The simplest way to put it is that they claim to accept pretty much everything that Roman Catholicism teaches�with the notable exception of the celibate priesthood (two of Holy Communion's three priests are married)�and their liturgy is similarly faithful. For example, their Mass is essentially an English-language version of the Tridentine rite.

So, the liturgy of the Stations was "the same but different," as the saying goes—giving me a sort of "Looking-glass world" feeling that was to remain with me for the rest of the weekend. Before then, my only experience of the Catholic/Anglican divide had been on the Catholic side�beginning when, as an unchurched Protestant and the only non-Roman on the 2004 American Chesterton Society tour of England, I heard my fellow tourgoers say with noticeable bitterness practically every time our bus passed an old church, "That used to be ours."

Which is to say, although I immensely enjoyed the company of Holy Communion's priests, deacons, and the nearly 100 other parishioners during my weekend as guest speaker of their Lenten Retreat in the North Carolina mountains, I was not prepared for the feeling of being unable to fully participate in their worship. It was not at all the same as the times since my entrance into the Catholic Church when I have attended services at other Protestant churches or even the Falls Church, a breakaway Anglican parish in Virginia. It was like looking over at the Eastern side of the Berlin Wall. I felt the twin pangs of being unable to receive Holy Communion with the parishioners and at the same time empathizing with their tangible sense of separation from what they call the Roman church.

A lot happened during that weekend, too much for me to go into here. In many ways, it was a Lenten experience in the sense of being purgative—which I hasten to add was due to what was going on with me personally, as the parishioners and their clergy went out of their way to make me feel welcome and appreciated.

One experience I can share with you came to me during the Low Mass on Saturday afternoon. I made a Spiritual Communion as the parishioners went up to receive, offering it up for everyone there and in hope of reunion. (When I say I made a Spiritual Communion, I mean that I united my heart with the Eucharist in all the tabernacles of the world, and with the presence of Christ in the church where I was at that moment, as He was very much present in the parishioners' love for Him.)

As I made the Spiritual Communion, feeling that sense of barrenness that I felt on an occasion when, for lack of a state of grace, I was unable to receive at a Catholic Mass, a strange thought occurred to me that is hard to describe.

I know that wherever the Real Presence is, there is Jesus. And I know that Jesus' Presence cannot be divided up; it is not minimized, however small the Host, nor is it any less depending on how many people are present at Mass or how many people comprise the body of the entire Catholic Church.

Yet, in feeling that the Eucharist in the room was lacking�for, the Mass not being celebrated by a Catholic priest, it was not consecrated in such a way that I could receive�I wondered what this lack said for the Holy Communion that I receive at my own parish. Specifically, I had the feeling that the Communion I received in the Church was, in some way, itself lacking—even though I knew on an intellectual level that, Jesus always being Jesus, this could not possibly be so.

The closest I can describe the feeling was that it made me wonder what Communion in my own church would be like if the entire Body of Christ was one. I realized for the first time that it is not only the Anglican Church—and, by extension, the entire body of Protestantism and Eastern Orthodoxy—which is missing something because of the separation. The Catholic Church is missing something too—to put it terribly mildly.

I had a similar feeling later that night after Compline and Benediction. Upon leaving the church, I found myself crying to the parishioners outside, telling them that the experience produced for me the thought that Mary was weeping like Rachel for her separated children.

By that point, my tears had been flowing quite freely for most of the day. They had started after lunch, following my morning talk and Q&A.

The talk had gone very well, along the lines of my Charleston one�and indeed, it was the same talk, Father Sanderson having encouraged me to make all the references to the Catechism and other Catholic writings that I would if I were speaking to my fellow Romans.

I had made the mistake, however, of failing to ask Father Sanderson or another parishioner to pray with me before my lecture—a request I normally make as a rule before each appearance, because the way I make myself so emotionally open puts me in need of spiritual protection. On this day, I was under particular stress, not only because of the Berlin Wall feeling that made the whole weekend so intense, but also because of something I haven't yet revealed to blog readers: I recently learned that I will indeed need a second operation to remove the rest of my thyroid, to be certain that my cancer will not reoccur. I think I was also still recovering from the "Today" show experience, which, although successful (and certainly pleasant, in terms of the way the program's staff treated me), put me through an emotional and spiritual wringer of sorts.

So, even though my talk was very well-received, I stumbled during the Q&A, when a question prompted me to raise an issue about which I am extremely sensitive. In discussing this issue, I shared a story about an action someone I knew had taken that was contrary to Church teachings. The residual resentment that I felt about what this person had done came out as I described it, and I sounded judgmental, not loving at all.

Afterwards, I had a bad feeling that I had marred an otherwise good appearance by venting. The feeling was confirmed when Father Sanderson approached me at the end of lunch and told me in the calmest, most sensitive tones that three attendees of the talk had taken part in an action like the one I had described that had offended me so.

The priest took pains to say that "99.9 percent" of the attendees saw nothing wrong with what I had said, and he even added that my condemnation of the action was theologically correct�a kindness that, while well intended, only made me feel worse, as I remembered to myself Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen's advice: "Win an argument, lose a convert." I felt that, however right I had been, I had approached that particular subject in a self-righteous way when the only proper way to approach it was from a standpoint of mercy and forgiveness.

Walking back to the building where my talk had taken place�and where I was to continue answering questions for another hour—I asked another priest, Father Patrick Allen, if he thought it would be out of line for me to apologize to those assembled. He told me he thought it would be fine. Like Father Sanderson, he was very sensitive to my feelings and did not judge me in any way�which was a good thing, as I was already on the brink of tears.

I finally started crying in the foyer outside the lecture hall, as I shared my feeling of guilt with a youth minister who had befriended me on Facebook during the weeks before my talk. When I cry in front of people, I don't sob�not unless I'm trying to cry and speak at the same time. The tears just start flowing and it seems like they will never stop. I am actually quite the crybaby; that's why I felt St. Maximilian worked a literal miracle for me at the moment of my New York Post firing when, having asked him in advance to keep me from shedding tears in front of the editors, I managed to remain dry-eyed throughout the ordeal.

The youth minister did his best to reassure me, as Father Sanderson had, that my talk had been overall very well received. Again, the kindness only made me feel worse and I just stared at him, mumbling thanks, with my face turned away from the rest of the attendees so that no one else could see the Niagara Falls.

Understandably disturbed by the display, he said to me plaintively, in the sweetest way, "But don't you feel accepted here? Don't you feel that we loved you?"

"Yes," I said, attempting a smile while being even more incapable of stopping the flow. "I do."

Did I mention that I have recently decided I could totally marry an Anglican? If he agreed to raise our kids Catholic, of course. (Anyone from Holy Communion surely would.)

So, I got back up to the podium and, after accepting an unexpected gift from Father Sanderson—a Book of Common Prayer—proceeded to give a mea culpa.

The audience was uniformly supportive—as Father Sanderson and the youth minister had said, they hadn't really noticed that I had said anything wrong. I started to feel better and apologized for crying.

"It's a good thing I didn't wear mascara today," I noted to the parishioners as my tears finally began to let up. "I actually thought of wearing," I added truthfully, "but after riding up with Father Dan, it seemed futile, because I realized I could never have eyelashes as beautiful as his."

At that, the crowd roared. Not knowing Holy Communion's Father Dan Clarke, you will have to trust me that he is a manly man who is known in the parish for being proud of his well-vested appearance in a self-parodying Jack Benny sort of way. A parishioner told me afterward that, when he donned the traditional rose vestments on Laetare Sunday, the line making the rounds, which he found as funny as anyone, was, "Father Dan—pretty in pink."

Many thanks to everyone named above, and to everyone else in the Charleston Diocese and at Holy Communion, all of whom truly did make me feel loved.

My 2008 prediction comes true ...

2008-03-10T14:23:00.003-04:00

... and Eliot Spitzer has some explaining to do.

I wrote in "InsideCatholic.com's Predictions for 2008":

With crystal ball in hand, I would also predict that more prominent elected officials with ties to the abortion-rights lobby will be exposed for corruption. This has already happened with Paul Morrison, who, in the wake of scandal, is set to resign his position as Kansas Attorney General, and with New York Governor [Eliot] Spitzer, who is under various investigations for wrongdoing. I believe it will continue because such officials' acceptance of money from abortion-rights groups reflects deep moral failings that cannot help but extend to other areas of their lives and careers.

Quote of the day

2008-03-10T11:44:00.002-04:00

"For many years I was like most young women and had an immature understanding of marriage and all that it entails. I was (and still am) a romantic and thought that marriage would be a surreal experience where I was madly attached to my husband and would of course be the centre of his universe. Over time I realized that this was an extremely self-centred way of looking at a friendship which would be the cornerstone of marriage. I began to understand that a relationship of this kind needs to take place on different levels.

"Love is a single reality with different dimensions that are needed or emerge at different times. One dimension is necessary to attract a person to another, but this becomes less necessary over time and especially as one matures. This is eros, or the 'madness' that intoxicates, displaces reason and drives a person powerfully toward another. It is the central theme for movie romances and modern sitcoms.

"But for all its thrills, this dimension is not enough. In fact, on its own it becomes an obstacle to the maturing of the relationship. We see this played out all the time. Love is reduced to its caricature, to the amount of gratification that each can take from it. ...

"The other dimension is the reaching out of one person to the other. It is a love that is, indeed, ecstasy -- not a momentary sensual intoxication but an exodus out of oneself, seeking liberation through giving oneself to the other. It is a journey toward authentic self discovery and happiness. This is played out in different ways: the sharing of hopes, dreams, values, desires, sorrows and disappointments, successes and failures, laughter and tears, and of our sexuality by pleasure giving and childbearing.

"I learned through a long process of maturing that I almost always ignored the second dimension when I thought of marriage and assessed a prospective spouse."

— Louise Brosnan, "Marriage is not a compromise"

'Saturday Night' and Monday morning

2008-03-05T00:00:00.000-05:00

The whole "Today" experience of this past week had a "This Is Your Life" quality for me, starting from when I first saw the number "212-664-4444" show up on my cell phone last Wednesday afternoon.

When I was in fourth grade, living in Texas, I went bananas for "Saturday Night Live." For the next few years, until all the members of the original cast dropped out, that show and "Monty Python's Flying Circus" were my obsession. It was a pretty, ahem, mature show for a child to watch, but I was allowed to stay up as late as I wanted and watch whatever I wanted, and what I wanted was to absorb each edition of SNL straight into my brain so I could reenact it to anyone who would listen in the schoolyard the following Monday.

I tried over and over to make actual contact with the SNL stars, especially my idol Dan Aykroyd. Unfortunately, the three-page letter to Aykroyd that I toiled over for hours only got me a plain 8-by-10 photo, with no autograph. I had better luck with Gilda Radner, receiving two autographed postcards, one of which had a nice personal note. But it was Aykroyd I wanted, and I spent more than one night trying to phone him at the NBC studios, never getting through but leaving messages with a page who probably rolled his eyes upon hearing my plaintive 9-year-old voice over the long-distance line.

So, when I saw NBC's number display on my phone, it registered immediately from a place deeply imprinted on my memory from three decades ago. My first thought was, "Why is NBC calling me?"

More memories of this past Monday to follow—for now, must get sleep ...

Hawk meets 'Sparrow' ...

2008-03-04T20:24:00.002-05:00

... and it's love at first sight.

Who knew that a beautiful specimen of wildlife could be found on a fire escape in Sunnyside, Queens? My friend Fallen Sparrow is blessed!